Darvik's Birth

From Mom:
Please welcome Darvik Rhys Stevens to the world! Darvik was born at 11:44pm on Nov. 18, weighing 7 lb, 7 oz. He latched on almost immediately after birth and has been feeding like a champ ever since! I was 2 weeks overdue and the doctors wanted to induce me on Nov. 18. Fortunately, I started having surges at 3:30 am that morning. I tried to get as much sleep as possible until I woke up my husband later that > morning. Jay called Eileen, the doula, and they decided to hold off calling the hospital until after I missed my cervidol appointment. Around 5pm we went to the hospital after Jay used many delay tactics. My surges still weren't regular but I wanted to get to the hospital so I could stop worrying about the trip there! At the hospital our nurse almost forgot to not tell me how dilated I was - and I was only 2 cm (I later found out). I would have been very discouraged. Jay and Eileen told me I was progressing very well and doing great. The heplock was inserted in an incredibly uncomfortable spot on my wrist. Eileen and I walked the halls for what seemed like forever while Jay took a nap. Jay's 19 year-old daughter Jessica took care of everything in the background and made sure I had everything I needed when I asked for it. She ended up staying for the entire birth and did great. Eventually, they got me into the shower. The shower was great, but Darvik had decided to take a nap so they weren't getting any movement on the telemetry monitor. The monitoring turned into a big problem as we couldn't wake him up, despite the snacks and soda they were sneaking me to try and get some movement. I spent an hour in the shower with Eileen and Jay taking turns with the sprayer or keeping the nurse at bay, delaying her from checking my progress further and her complaints that the monitor kept falling off. With a lot of conjoling they finally got me out of the shower and into the bed to get a better read on the monitor. I wasn't cooperating well with getting the monitor into a good position because every time I was on my back I started losing focus. Eileen finally explained that if we didn't get a good read they would need to do a c-section. Could you imagine, all that work laboring ending up in a c-section because the darn kid just wants to sleep?! I instinctively knew he was fine. So we changed positions and Jay started talking to Darvik, who finally woke up to his voice. Whew! While I was on the bed I ripped that darn heplock out, so they had to re-insert it. The nurse inserted it incorrectly, twisting the tube under my skin. Jay very calmly motioned to it without letting me hear and she moved it again. Eileen helped me keep my focus as I was constantly on the cliff, tempted to go over where I could lose control. If I had known how critical she would be to achieve our birth plan I would have paid her 3 times her price! After lots of discussion, the nurse was finally convinced to fill up the tub, which she didn't want to do (she said she had never done it before and had to find the rules). The doctor arrived and had some trepidation about me going into the tub as he was afraid I wouldn't get out. But in the end we won and I got about 10 minutes in the tub before I started feeling like I had to push. Eileen thinks my water broke in the tub; as it turns out I still wasn't close to pushing. Labor lasted some time after that and I revelled in my ability to be completely primal. I'm pretty sure my noises were heard in the waiting room - and I wanted everyone to hear! Nurses switched out (Jay thinks the original nurse finally lost patience and switched with someone who was more interested in unmedicated birth - she turned out to be wonderful) and I lost track of who was where and what was happening. I vaguely remember changing positions many times, trying to get the baby to move down. Some time was spent dancing with Jay, on all fours in the bed, or on my side. Any time on my back was incredibly uncomfortable, maybe because Darvik still wasn't in position. The pushing wasn't exactly as I had imagined and I ended up pushing against my legs instead of breathing him down. In fact, I had three people holding my legs and I still pushed the bed against the wall and almost kicked the doctor in the head. Jay's daughter Jessica had to hold the bed still, despite the brakes, until I figured out where my focus needed to be. I pushed for 30 minutes and Darvik was born. Jay announced the sex and Darvik was placed on my chest and almost immediately latched on. Eileen later described my labor as very hard (underlined three times with exclamation points). I went from 2 to 10 in the hospital - and most of that in the final three hours or so. And yet I managed the entire labor unmedicated. I don't know if I can describe how miraculous that is. See, when I found out I was pregnant I freaked out when I had to get my blood drawn! I remember sitting in the waiting room, anxiety skyrocketing, squeezing my stress ball and Jay trying to calm me down. I took the class to just get me through early labor and the epideral shot! Instead, the hypnobirthing methods got me from there to an unmedicated birth with no fear. That's a miracle and an experience I will be able to take with me the rest of my life - an invaluable rite of passage! The first week Darvik was home was incredibly difficult. Sleep deprivation, recovery, waiting for my milk to come in - my mother described it as PMS, menopause, puberty, and sleep deprivation all at once. But my confidence was strong because of what I had already accomplished. I was able to avoid formula despite having no more than 1 hour of sleep between feedings for days and Darvik screaming all night, completely inconsolable most of the time. I'm so proud of what my partner and I were able to accomplish together - I know now that we can get through anything. The right people came into our lives at the right times to create the most intense rite of passage for a mother, partner, and child. I am forever grateful for Sharon, the hypnobirthing class, and Eileen, and especially my amazing partner, who came through exactly like I knew he would. Imagine if we raised our children to expect the sort of partnership necessary to have an unmedicated birth hypnobirthing prescribes, how much more they might expect from their relationships. The gifts this experience gives us are immeasurable and will last many lifetimes.

From Dad:
When the contractions first started I could not tell. Victoria was able to breathe and work through them without expression. She didn't want to time them so was stuck letting me know when she had one. Eileen continued painting her basement after the first call. When Vicky was determined we had to go to the hospital, I sent Jessica to Wendy's for food, buying more time. We finally loaded up and headed over around 5. Eileen met us at the hospital. This ended up being our biggest headache - the heplock was inserted in her left wrist. Victoria tried to let it go for 30 minutes, but it was a constant pain. Victoria was at 2 cm when we first arrived. We made sure the nurse was instructed to only give facts to myself and Eileen along with giving her our birthing plan. Victoria walked the halls until the surges became very strong and hard. She became very animalistic at this point. She relaxed in the shower and the telemytry moniter was a constant battle to keep in the right spot. This continued until about 9. We had to battle to get the tub filled. The nurse had never used it before and needed to read the protocol manual. The baby was not moving and the nurse let us know that if she didn't see any movement soon she was setting up a C-Section. Eileen jumped into gear and told Victoria to get the baby moving and had me start talking to her belly. It worked and within minutes the chart showed movement. The nurse checked again and Vicky was at 5 cm. The doctor stopped by as he had a few patients in that night. It really helped with him assuring the nurse that we could use the tub and he was very relaxed with everything. The heplock was again a problem as the nurse tried to cover it and pulled it out on accident. I tried to get it inserted in her forearm and none of them were confident they could find a vein. PLEASE make sure to get it inserted where you want it from the beginning. After a small blood bath, they got it in the other wrist and covered. The tub was a good break from the intense moaning, beating, punching, and wanting to quit attitude. It was quick, about 15 minutes, and then she said "I feel like I need to push" We finally got her out and back in the room. Her doctor came in and had them set the bed up for her to be lying down on her back. Even though this was her fear, she found it to be a good position. She entered her man hating stage at this point. Eileen was awesome and made sure to coach her through the surges and pushes. My plan was to catch the baby, but I was in a great spot holding a powerful leg with a full view. Victoria pushed hard, but it seemed that she was not getting the baby to move till she grabbed her legs and grunted deep. The head slowly came out and I was in awe! The next push the baby was completely out and I saw we had a boy. Our son was immediately placed on Victoria's chest and we waited to cut the cord till it quit pulsing. It was a mile long too! He started sucking her breast within 15 minutes. He was then named Darvik Rhys. I was glad to learn later from Eileen that Vic had a very hard birthing experience. She was not able to quietly work through the last hours of urges. She wanted to give up and have the pain taken away, but we continued to talk her through it all.